Having suffered
clinical depression and
anxiety most of my life, the sudden death of my sister manifested as Agoraphobia. My counselor was unable to find a "day program" to take me out of my comfort zone and lead me into the path of recovery. The only programs out there were for the
mentally challenged. Not sure what to do, but wanting recovery so much...I found some peace in meditation to begin with, and then things just came my way. I was focused on healing and so the resources to "heal" came to me. Had I stayed focused on "being disabled," I would have remained there.
I took up painting by watching
Donna Dewberry on
PBS late one night. I began to create hand painted crafts, many of which I was able to sell. I began making a new angel every year around
Christmas, and I wrote a cookbook with my family which we now sell on
ETSY.com and donate the proceeds to
Cancer, Heart and Autism
research. I returned to college to complete my degree (at age 60) by taking my classes online. The greatest resource I found was in "quilting." I began by researching online and finding patterns, learning rotary cutting, and attempting to make wonderful quilts. I wasn't very good at it, but I loved doing it. On a whim one day after leaving my counselor's office I found a little
Quilt Shop right near her office. Unable to just pass by, I went in. I entered on the side where they were having quilting classes and moved my way over to the material section. I inquired about classes and they told me a new beginner's class was starting the next week. Without hesitation I signed up.
The first day of the class I got there 30 minutes early and sat in my car, feeling anxious but almost giddy that I had gotten myself there; and with
sewing machine and materials in hand I was going to "learn" to quilt the right way and end my frustration. Although the class was three hours long, I managed to get through the first one and was shocked at how smoothly it went, but even more by how I was feeling. I managed in those three hours to separate myself from my anxiety, and like a fly on the wall, I saw myself relaxed and happy, and the time flew by quickly. I felt healing when I left the class. I am so content to see what I accomplished, and am embarrassed to say, I love the praise I get from my friends when they see how much I have improved.
Having always believed that success comes from focused attention on one's strongest desire, and the continued effort in the direction of one's intention; I was reminded of an experience I had many years before and had to abandon, to take care of my mother when she was diagnosed with terminal
colon cancer. "When you believe in your purpose and keep faith while always going in the direction of the intention without wondering where the resources to accomplish the task will come from, the resources come to you.
I have created my own "day program" called "our Gratitude,"and have applied to the Pepsi Challenge for the funding, but I know that even if I don't get accepted, the resources will show themselves as long as I keep going in the direction of my ultimate desire.
Watching the movie, "The Secret," was what reminded me of what I already knew, and it also renewed my continuous gratitude for all that I already have. Living a life of purpose is all that is expected of us, and with faith in your intention you will see the results in your own life.
I hope everyone will look for my project next month at
PEPSI CHALLENGENGE
and vote for me to fund my "day program" for high functioning disabled adults, designed to lower the number of people on disability and increase jobs and income to the state.
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