Dear Friends of the Good Old Days,
I know it's over two weeks until Valentine's Day, but while cleaning up some old boxes in my office, Janice came across a clipping from the Springfield (Mo.) Leader with a date of Tuesday, Feb. 14, 1933 -- almost 76 years ago. I was raised in the Missouri Ozarks, and I have hundreds of clippings from the Good Old Days from the Springfield newspaper, which was the closest daily newspaper to our home. The headline that day in 1933 was "Valentines for 71 Years," and the dateline was Philadelphia: A 93-year-old couple married on St. Valentine's Day 71 years ago today (1862) topped off a gay anniversary party by passing along this happy marriage formula that "can't miss": "Always be kind and considerate, and never, never try to be the boss." In the words of Abner and Rebecca Braude, who confess they still have their romantic moments, that's about all the secret there is to domestic happiness. "Of course," said Mrs. Braude in an interview, "there are times when I seem to do all the talking, but I never give Abner the impression that I'm boss."
"You go ahead, Ma," Abner put in. "You've got the gift of gab better than I have. Just keep talking. As for your being bossy, let's say that you can be firm but never bossy." "Guess I don't need a second invitation to keep talking," Mrs. Braude went on with a hearty laugh, "especially after that great big box of candy Abner got for me." And she showed it off, a whopper of a Valentine gift, bright red and heart-shaped, naturally, and all bound up with ribbons and bows. "What I mean," Mrs. Braude resumed, "is that a man and wife can make a go of it for as long as you care to say, without fear of serious squabbles or getting on each other's nerves more than the usual little bit. They just need to play fair, have no secrets, and share the bad with the good. "One of the most important things in the success of our marriage is that Papa and I have never been separated for more than a day or two. Whenever he traveled, I tried to do the same. This talk about absence making the heart grow fonder is wiener schnitzel. Oh, I know the modern idea is that husbands and wives should have separate careers, separate vacations, and separate just about everything else. I'm not saying it won't work in some cases, but as a general thing, it's all wrong. If you love someone, you want to be with that person just as much as possible, not traipsing off somewhere on your own. "You might say that I've hardly ever had Abner out of my sight, and I still love him very much after 71 years." Married for 71 years! Janice and I wondered how many more years Abner and Rebecca were blessed with after that Valentine's Day in 1933. It's been another 76 years since those words were printed. If Rebecca referred to the days of 1933 as "modern," I wonder what she and Abner would think today. Like Abner and Rebecca, Janice and I are around each other "24-7," as the youngsters say today. I guess, in large part, we would echo Rebecca's words of 71 years ago. Janice plays fair -- and I usually do too. We have no secrets, and we share the bad with the good. To Rebecca's advice I would add that we try to never go to bed angry. Like Abner, our children always called me "Papa," but I make a point of giving Janice flowers at least once every other week. When the children were growing up that wasn't possible, so now I'm trying to make up for all of those years she did without. In the spring and summer I often pick her a small bouquet of wildflowers as I take my walks for the sake of my heart. In winter months like January, her bouquets are from the store. Unlike Abner, I never give her candy. She chastised me several years ago about tempting her above that which she is able to bear, so my boxes of chocolate now are reduced to candy kisses on rare occasions. What about the other side of the coin? When Janice brews up my tea on cold winter mornings like today, I ask her if she sweetened it. "Oh, I stuck my finger in it," she tosses back at me, with a laugh. "That ought to be sweet enough for you!" And it is. (That's why I always call her "Honey.") After all these years, she is still the sweetest part of my life just like she was in the Good Old Days.
Valentine's Day Links Here are some Valentine's Day links for you as you prepare for the holiday. Click here for a link for Valentine's Day goodies to share with children and grandchildren. Click here for one that has a lot of recipes, especially just for the two of you. Click here to go to a site that has links for sending free e-Valentines. Back to top. | 
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